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The Onion - Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.

 
 
11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet.
Added: November 20, 2009
Runtime: 03:13
Plays: 569
Comments: 4
Categories
Rating:91%
 
     
 

The Onion's Videos

 
 
100796024

Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.

03:13
11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet.
Rating:91%
Added: 8 days ago
Plays: 569
Comments: 4
100450877

Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Tauru...

01:46
Ford says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.
Rating:91%
Added: 22 days ago
Plays: 729
Comments: 2
100381849

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

01:50
Honors student Rebecca Bunten died in the crash today, leaving the nation to wonder why the grisly experience of burning alive was not reserved for...
Rating:91%
Added: 25 days ago
Plays: 364
Comments: 3
100278104

Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End To .....

02:20
People are breathing a sigh of relief today for the long-suffering spectators' sudden deaths, and for the total elimination of the Clippers' roster off the face of the earth.
Rating:92%
Added: 29 days ago
Plays: 287
Comments: 1
64244715

Stalker Financial Expert Offers Recession Tips Just for ...

02:03
Dan Kellogg visits Today NOW! with money tips for one particular woman who forgot to close her bedroom drapes last night.
Rating:91%
Added: 1 month ago
Plays: 3,031
Comments: 11
64147064

Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire

02:46
White House officials are confident the President will be able to convince the wildfire to stop incinerating large swaths of land and American homes.
Rating:88%
Added: 1 month ago
Plays: 2,314
Comments: 10
63901496

New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens 'It's Gay To Smoke'

02:45
The CDC's new anti-smoking campaign effectively reaches teens with a simple message: if you smoke, people are going to know you're totally crazy for butt sex.
Rating:90%
Added: 1 month ago
Plays: 8,144
Comments: 43
63489273

Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar

02:26
8 year old Lucas Armitage has become a national hero after bravely defending his home by shooting a burglar multiple times in the chest and neck.
Rating:86%
Added: 2 months ago
Plays: 8,717
Comments: 34
63421700

BREAKING NEWS: BAT LOOSE IN CONGRESS

03:14
Congress is deadlocked on the best way to get a bat out of their committee chamber.
Rating:91%
Added: 2 months ago
Plays: 3,404
Comments: 7
63277318

Report: Growing Ranks Of Nouveau Poor Facing Discrimination ....

02:43
As Americans rush to join the Nouveau Poor, panelists debate the claim that the newly poor are incapable of integrating with long established poor...
Rating:91%
Added: 2 months ago
Plays: 2,126
Comments: 8
63181924

U.S. Condemned For Pre-Emptive Use Of Hillary Clinton ...

02:28
Innocent civilians across the impact zone are picking up the pieces after Secretary of State Clinton's tedious visits to their farms, cultural centers.
Rating:92%
Added: 2 months ago
Plays: 3,715
Comments: 8
63034752

Americans Observing 911 By Trying Not To Masturbate

01:44
Americans say attending a 911 vigil or observing a moment of silence to only then come home to jerk off is disrespectful and wrong.
Rating:82%
Added: 2 months ago
Plays: 8,139
Comments: 28
62933272

NFL Players Mentor Troubled Detroit Lions

01:49
Thanks to the NFL's Mentoring Program, the Lions got to spend a fun-filled day with the pros learning to catch, tackle.
Rating:93%
Added: 2 months ago
Plays: 6,566
Comments: 6
62673642

Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their Kids

02:47
E-Mom Gloria Bianco shows Jim and Tracy how geographical distance is no longer a roadblock to shamelessly interfering with the lives of your children.
Rating:95%
Added: 2 months ago
Plays: 9,676
Comments: 22
62520787

Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?

02:39
In The Know panelists discuss the closing of the controversial detainee labyrinth and debate whether the Minotaur's sternum-stomping-by-hooves interrogation technique yielded valuable intelligence.
Rating:91%
Added: 3 months ago
Plays: 9,062
Comments: 30
62409593

Sudden Ominous Music Heard Across U.S., Nation Panicking

02:48
Government officials have not determined the source of the music or what it could portend, but they urge Americans to avoid deserted mansions, woods, and eerily quiet lake cabins.
Rating:91%
Added: 3 months ago
Plays: 6,951
Comments: 27
62243385

Baseball Superstar Accused of Performance-Enhancing Genie Use

02:55
Despite eyebrows raised by his .850 batting average and the Persian oil lamp he carries everywhere, 'Magic Lamp' emphatically denies ever using a...
Rating:92%
Added: 3 months ago
Plays: 3,809
Comments: 11
62120984

White House: Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase

02:29
White House officials admit Obama's extreme confidence and total euphoria over "hope" and "change" were symptoms of a prolonged manic episode.
Rating:89%
Added: 3 months ago
Plays: 6,802
Comments: 19
61952655

Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women

02:18
Women Deserve Better says PETA abuses defenseless, simple-minded women by forcing them to remove their clothing and participate in humiliating...
Rating:91%
Added: 3 months ago
Plays: 6,052
Comments: 27
61823414

New Google Service Lets Privacy Critics Opt-Out, Relocate ...

02:17
Web users who choose to move to the desolate village are guaranteed an environment free from Google products and natural light from the sun.
Rating:90%
Added: 3 months ago
Plays: 7,257
Comments: 19
 
     
 

(Add Comment)The Onion's Video Channel Comments

 
 
From Comment
FELION MUSIC DISTRIBUTION ADD US NOW

Sunday, September 20, 2009 9:07 PM

intreting Network
Vridetv

Wednesday, August 05, 2009 12:50 AM

★★★★★
Justin Cowdrey

Monday, August 03, 2009 7:06 AM

this lady looks like one of the chimps in planet of the apes
b
b

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 5:14 PM

where did the shaken baby vid go?!? the comments on that vid were the GREATEST!!!
I WEAR THE AURA OF A KING™

Friday, May 08, 2009 2:24 AM

this video had me dying. lol. good stuff
DEAD D

Thursday, April 16, 2009 10:27 AM

THE ONION ROOOOOOCKSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Canadian Honky

Tuesday, December 23, 2008 4:28 AM

ya ...
RagingSeraphim

Saturday, November 08, 2008 12:44 AM

OMG I CAN'T BREATHE!!!!!!!!!! ROFLMAO!! whether it's true or not this was funny as aysche ee double hockey sticks!
175735050

Wednesday, October 15, 2008 10:13 PM

I love the onion!
Add my facebook... myspace sucks

Friday, October 10, 2008 4:43 PM

we have an absurd amount of first degree roadkill (squirrels) second degree roadkill (possum eating a squirrel killed) and roadkill in the third degree (racoon / vulture / hawk feeding on both squirrel and possum killed) in my area lol