portly Pastor John Hagee fills us in from the "world's greatest sex manual"... his Bible! Sister Kathy Kay of Jeremiah Films tells a sex-ed class of teens that having sex before marriage means they and their loved ones will all die horrible deaths. Brother Bob Tilton tells us his secret to success: just keep doin' it and doin' it and doin' it and doin' it! Then, not to be outdone, Bishop Eddie Long explains to the faithful that "the preacher's job is to bring fresh sperm" to the congregation. We are NOT makin' this stuff up!
What happens when a pagan motorcyclist has a head-on collision with an oncoming car and is thrown 50 feet into a northwestern Ohio field and has a religious conversion while doctors are amputating his left arm and his left leg? He becomes...Captain Hook: Children's Television Evangelist!