Some self absorbed girl thought she was more important than the 300 other people at the club. No one has ever told her to shut her trap, which is why this situation arose. After the show she tried to passively apologize, and I told her to die.

This was the first time I got to go to Vancouver. Like an idiot, I suggested I do the commercial with my shirt off. That was the suggestion I made when I was in a downtown hotel room at 2pm. But we shot the commercial at the break of dawn on a mountaintop and it was freezing. I'm an idiot.

A commercial I did for Domino's. The lady at the end had a story about having sex with Bob Hope when she was a teenager. I'm not even kidding.

Ari Shaffir doing standup comedy at the DC Improv in January of 2008 a few months before he shaved off his Jewfro and Jewbeard. This is the 1st clip he's edited, so he got a little retarded. "He" really means "me" because I'm Ari Shaffir.

This is a clip from Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco from early 2007. Most of the dirty stuff has been edited out so MySpace won't go nuts. If you like filth, please come see me live.