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Onion News Network - Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End to Clippers Game

 
 
People are breathing a sigh of relief today for the long-suffering spectators' sudden deaths, and for the total elimination of the Clippers' roster off the face of the earth.
Added: November 24, 2009
Runtime: 00:00
Plays: 5
Comments: 0
Rating:0%
 
     
 

Onion News Network's Videos

 
 
100894313

Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End to Clippers Game

00:00
People are breathing a sigh of relief today for the long-suffering spectators' sudden deaths, and for the total elimination of the Clippers' roster off the face of the earth.
Rating:0%
Added: 9 days ago
Plays: 5
Comments: 0
100812756

Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.

00:00
11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet.
Rating:0%
Added: 12 days ago
Plays: 2
Comments: 0
100735104

Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner

00:00
Officials say the President's home teleprompter is simply a tool to make sure pillow talk with Michelle or conversations with his Mother-In-Law go smoothly
Rating:0%
Added: 15 days ago
Plays: 0
Comments: 0
100567774

Victim in Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

00:00
An honors student died in the crash today, leaving the nation to wonder why the grisly experience of burning alive was not reserved for Glenn Beck.
Rating:0%
Added: 22 days ago
Plays: 2
Comments: 0
100566428

How to Find a Masculine Halloween Costume for Your Effeminate Son

00:00
Expert stops by Today NOW! to show parents of girly sons costume tips to survive Halloween without accentuating their child's obvious homosexuality.
Rating:0%
Added: 22 days ago
Plays: 2
Comments: 0
100566217

Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again by Sneezing During Meeting

00:00
In The Know panelists call Biden's decision to sneeze in the middle of a high level policy meeting 'disgusting' and 'completely inappropriate.'
Rating:0%
Added: 22 days ago
Plays: 0
Comments: 0
100457528

Ford Unveils New Car for Cash-Strapped Buyers: the 1993 Taurus

01:47
Ford says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.
Rating:92%
Added: 26 days ago
Plays: 0
Comments: 0
64438978

Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated in Yet Another Daring Jewel Heist

02:50
Steam Room analysts debate whether the International Fencing Federation should reign in this rogue, or if De La Croix will narrowly escape yet again.
Rating:0%
Added: 1 month ago
Plays: 39
Comments: 0
64229217

Stalker Financial Expert Offers Recession Tips Just for Woman He Follows

02:04
Dan Kellogg visits Today NOW! with money tips for one particular woman who forgot to close her bedroom drapes last night.
Rating:92%
Added: 1 month ago
Plays: 84
Comments: 0
64153858

Obama to Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire

02:47
White House officials are confident the President will be able to convince the wildfire to stop incinerating large swaths of land and American homes.
Rating:92%
Added: 1 month ago
Plays: 101
Comments: 0
63735321

Are the Obamas Out of Touch With the Average Miserable American Family?

02:27
Panelists discuss whether Obama's openly loving, considerate family is a slap in the face to the average American who only bears feelings of resentment towards relatives.
Rating:92%
Added: 2 months ago
Plays: 121
Comments: 0
63672364

Crime Reporter Finds Way of Linking Warehouse Fire to Depraved Sex Act

03:05
On Raw Justice, host Dean Reid investigates the closed case of an 'accidental' fire and finds shocking new evidence of sexually motivated arson
Rating:0%
Added: 2 months ago
Plays: 101
Comments: 0
63497543

Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar

02:27
8 year old Lucas Armitage has become a national hero after bravely defending his home by shooting a burglar multiple times in the chest and neck.
Rating:92%
Added: 2 months ago
Plays: 135
Comments: 2
63441735

BREAKING NEWS: Bat Loose in Congress

03:15
Congress is deadlocked on the best way to get a bat out of their committee chamber.
Rating:0%
Added: 2 months ago
Plays: 63
Comments: 0
 
     
 

(Add Comment)Onion News Network's Video Channel Comments

 
 
From Comment
Bobbi

Thursday, September 10, 2009 5:51 PM

I just saw the "Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep" video, and that is not funny. Some of these videos are just wrong, and I don't understand why some people get a kick out of making up things like this...seriously, get a life!
Derek

Wednesday, January 07, 2009 4:25 PM

BL