Bo performs his now classic song, "My Whole Family Thinks I'm Gay", during his upcoming Comedy Central Presents that premieres March 27th on Comedy Central!!
Bo's self titled CD/DVD is NOW available!! In stores everywhere and on iTunes and amazon.com!!
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZ...
&s=143441
buy that shit!
music and lyrics by bo burnham
Now I don't know if all boy scouts are gays
But they could probably "tie the knot" in like fifty different ways...
I got a safe full o' cherries, cause I pop it and lock it,
A girl's like a fridge, once a week you should stock (stalk) it,
And girl, if your into a rimmin its only safe if your swimming,
And girl don't sit on the couch cause I treat my objects like women.
I spit fire like I just blew a demon
My shits so hot I leave the toilet bowl steamin
Girl im gonna tear it (tarot), like the cards of the gypsies
Youll bleed for so long youll get monthly ellipses.
If the pants are loose, girl I'll replete (re-pleat) ya.
You're a first time vegan and its nice to meet ya
chorus
Go to a
Vagina orchard, count 1,2,3
Spin that plant around you got a third world country (whirled c*nt tree)
That's right, consider yourself warned
Im offensive and creative like handicapped porn
Your playing with your breasts, excuse me, can I try it ma'am?
Your pushin em together like a titty Venn Diagram
Look at that ASS scuse me can I buy a gram?
Right below your diaphram, ass looks like your hidin ham.
First base, were making out
Second base, im getting faked out.
Third base, im getting take out
And I'd try to take it home if I knew I'd take it out
But I just don't know I said I just don't care
My flos so cold I need a tampon from a polar bear
Cause you can smell and spell my stink
B.O. lingers and it makes you think
Chorus...
Girls are like donuts when I be bustin bo nuts,
I can make em cream-filled or give them a layer of glaze
Im like doug's friend Skeeter whenever I meet her.
Casue I skeet her so hard you could call her Patty Mayonnaise.
My girl is epyletic cause shes the one im jerkin with
Common you asian child laborer show me what your workin with...
Cause theres an inverse relationship between respect and sects
Im talking bout religious sects like a mormon sect
That says you cant have sex with members of different sects, but you cant have sex with members of the same sex
So if the sects cant be different, the sex can be same, then the only sex left is some left hand shame
And girl I left you cause u left the game and if that don't feel right then u can write my name
Chorus....
Look pass the skin and look to the lyrics
I run miracle circles around you like spherical lyrics
This isn't about ironic pigment
If youre imagining this then I'm a chronic figment.
My junks so long that it hangs and swings, so at the nude baech people think im lookin for lost rings
Play the skin flute while ur big boy sings and if you want to take it all wear African neck rings.
Haters call me gay, but that aint hatin
Cuase im not homophobic, my morals are straight and
If im in the closet then you are below me (blow me)
Takin the b-a-t out of basement, homey
BUY EP on ITUNES JUNE 17th
music and lyrics by bo burnham
whats a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy,
and an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? an ironic way to die
and whats domain, domain, range (xxy) a kid with too much in his pants
and two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de france.
split a decision with long division,
take the circumference of your circumcision
live like your data and when you're all "set"
put it all together and whatever you get.
is new math...
whats a bag of chips divided by five, thats a nike worker's meal
and santa clause mutliplied by "i" well i guess that makes him real,
and the square root of the NBA is Africa in a box,
how do u trace a scatter plot? give the pencil to michael j fox.
take the approximate moral proportion of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion
live like your data, and when youre all "set"
put it all together and whatever you get...
is new math.
and if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to leave me youd have a tree...
full of asian porn.
C-A-L-C-U-LATOR (see you later) mathetmatical minds make industrial smog.
and whats the opposite of lnx, duraflame the unnatural log.
support the farmers with a pro-tractor,
link kennedy and lincoln with a common factor (fact, or)
live like ur data...blah blah
word problems
if theres a fat guy in a pastry shop with a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy,
in order to predict his volume change you need to know the value of pi (pie)
and theres a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her,
how long til it reaches adn kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor,
and if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his freetime and mealtime while on his knees
and if kim is half as old as bobby who is two years older then twelve year old tori,
for how many more 30 day months will their threesomes be considered statutory rape
cause havin sex is like quadratic expansion if it cant be split then its time to stop,
and havin sex is like doing fractions, its improper for the larger one to be on top,
and havin sex is like math homework, i do it best when i'm alone in my bed.
and squarin numbers are just like women, if theyre under thirteen just do them in your head....
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