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While Sting the singer may not be available have you consider pro wrestler Sting? I'm certain he can't sing a lick, but surely he's free these days.
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Y'know, I was able to get Sting, Bono, and Britney to sing for MY cause... you remember that album about "Save The Water" because every day millions of gallons of Ocean Water become clouds: the oceans of the world will be depleted! It's on 8 Track.
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